The Bards Tale

[Verse] Oh, there once was a bard with a tale to tell He walked ’round the town with a goofy spell (spell) He sang of heroes and of epic quests But it seemed that trouble followed him like pests [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake [Verse 2] He wooed the ladies with a roguish grin He drank the tavern dry, again and again (again) He stumbled through the night, causing chaos and strife But in the end, he’d always save the ? [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake [Verse 3] A maiden fair approached him, with a plea in her voice “My good sir, oh bard, I’ve got a simple choice There’s a rat in my cellar, it’s causing such strife With your music and charm, please end its cursed life“ [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake [Verse 4] So the Bard he went down, to the cellar so dark, But a rat he found not, ’twas a dragon’s sharp spark Belching fire and smoke, the Bard turned to flee, With his britches ablaze, what a sight for to see! [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake [Verse 5] The villagers watched as the Bard ran about, Trying to douse the flames that had him in a rout “Water! Water!“ he cried, as he danced with a yelp But the villagers laughed, as it gave him no help [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake [Verse 6] But the tale does not end, for the Bard’s antics are rife, More misadventures await, full of trouble and strife If you wish to behold them, then you must, without fail, Take up quill and parchment, and write your own tale. [Chorus] Oh, The Bard, The Bard, what a pain in the ass He’s a women-loving, booze-drinking brash Wherever he goes, disaster’s in his wake But we all can’t help but laugh and shake