Guest
Cartman makes a music video at the mall featuring his J-Lo hand-puppet. It gets sent to a major record label and the execs love it. “Fat Butt and Pancake Head“ S07 Try the “Taco-Flavored Kisses“ lens on Snapchat: Subscribe to South Park: Watch more South Park: Watch full episodes of South Park: Shop official South Park merch: Follow South Park: Instagram: Twitter: Facebook: #SouthPark #SouthParkS07 EXT. MALL - DAY CARTMAN Oh man! A twenty dollar gift certificate at the mall! I can buy what ever I want! Cultural Diversity day kicks ass! Meanwhile, Kyle is pulling up the rear complaining to himself. KYLE It isn't fair... I spent WEEKS preparing my speech on Latino culture! CARTMAN Hey, I spent weeks preparing too, Kyle. KYLE (stopping) No you didn't, asshole! What you did was totally stupid and racist! And you ONLY DID IT TO SCREW ME OVER!!! CARTMAN (walking up to Kyle) Awwww, I don't think Kyle likes you, Ms. Lopez. MS. LOPEZ (drooping down) Awww, that makes me muy triste. CARTMAN Ms. Lopez, do you like Kyle? MS. LOPEZ Oh, si, si, very much. CARTMAN Ms. Lopez, Would you like to give Kyle a kiss? MS. LOPEZ Oh siiii, si, si... My kisses taste like tacos. Cartman moves his hand to Kyle's mouth. CARTMAN (kissing sounds) Kyle just stands there, glaring at Cartman. CARTMAN (CONT'D) Is nice? MS. LOPEZ Very nice. (kissing sounds) He so handsome. (kissing sounds) Finally, Kyle erupts. KYLE STOP IT! CARTMAN Hey, come on, guys! We can use part of my gift certificate to buy food at the food court! KENNY Woo-hoo! INT. MALL - LATER The boys continue through the mall. Kenny is carrying a bag of tacos. Cartman is feeding one to Ms. Lopez. MS. LOPEZ Mmm... Tacos... So yummy!! KYLE Stop wasting the tacos on your hand, Cartman! CARTMAN Hey, Ms. Lopez has to eat too! KYLE She's NOT eating it, it's just coming out her back side! MS. LOPEZ When YOU eat a taco it comes out YOUR back side too, cholo! KENNY (laughs) Kyle glares at Kenny. They walk past one of those cheesy 'make your own video' places. Which has a camera set up in front of a green screen. MS. LOPEZ Look! Look! Make your own music video! KYLE No, no, no! We're not going into one of those cheesy places, Cartman! CARTMAN I agree, those places are stupid. MS. LOPEZ It's not stupid! I need to make music video! STAN (To Ms. Lopez) Look, We're not going in there so just -- wait, why the hell am I talking to your hand? (To Cartman) Look, we're not going in there so just knock it off! CARTMAN Hey, I'm on your guys' side! MS. LOPEZ Just wait ONE MINUTE! Let me see how much it is! Cartman walks in. The boys follow. KYLE God dammit. INT. MAKE YOUR OWN VIDEO - MALL - DAY The boys walk up to the bored guy working the place. He's thumbing through a magazine. VIDEO DUDE Welcome to make your own video. All set to rock and roll? MS. LOPEZ How much to make a video? VIDEO DUDE Uh, well It's nine ninety five for a three minute tape. CARTMAN HA! We're not paying nine ninety five! MS. LOPEZ Oh PLEASE?! Come on guys! KYLE Cartman, will you stop this gayness?! CARTMAN Alright, alright, here's ten dollars! KYLE That's not what I meant! VIDEO DUDE Alright just come over here and stand in front of the green screen. What kind of song do you want? MS. LOPEZ Something hot and spicy! The guy walks over to the playback system and starts playing a beat. MS. LOPEZ (CONT'D) Spicier. The video guy starts playing another track. MS. LOPEZ (CONT'D) Spicier! The video guy adds conga sounds to the beat. VIDEO Suddenly, Ms. Lopez is standing in front of one of those cheesy green screens, with video images playing behind her as she sings her song. MS. LOPEZ (CONT'D) Burrito! Taco! Taco! Burrito! Taco! Taco! Taco! Don't think because I gotta lot of money. I won't give you taco flavored kisses honey. I'm gonna fulfill all your wishes with my taco flavored kisses. Taco! Taco! Burrito! Burrito! Taco! Taco! INT. MAKE YOUR OWN VIDEO - MALL - DAY VIDEO DUDE You know, I've seen a lot of videos here at the mall and that was by far the best! MS. LOPEZ Oh, gracias, Michael. VIDEO DUDE Hey, I've got a friend who's interning at a big record label in LA. I'll send a copy on to him, and maybe he'll get the big wigs to see it! MS. LOPEZ Oh, gracias, Michael! Gracias! KYLE Can we go now, please?! CARTMAN Yeah, I wanna leave! KYLE STOP IT, CARTMAN! CARTMAN What?!
