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Some think, that my calculations of puzzles of the past are crazy and even state-doctors give me dangerous diagnoses (I am “in their hands“ because the states- (state-like) “retraining-program“ has to be supervised by state-psychiatrists since 2011 - not ended yet in 2024). Beyond that (in this video) I want to explain how far my digging in the past has brought me (I go deeper every month), even my infant birth (very pre-mature in my rememberance (!)) - is now calculated that must habe been in 1967 (not 1968 as officially recorded and maybe not in Germany but rather U.S.? Was it secret for political reasons?) Even that comes back to my mind (but memory puzzles have to be looked on again and again and repositioned (re-weighted and re-calculated like detectives to it) that often as well). This is here my first try in 2024 in English (my second “mother-tongue“?) in my rethinking-videos without any special preparation like a script (luckily English was on my list in the “studies“, because of difficulties to finance my studies I had to do it in “self-study“ - working in night shift in a seniors residence (that brought me down between 1994 and 2009 (!)). Many things maybe come on the surface again (more that 50 years ago!? and before (!)), hopefully those German state-psychiatrists will not hinder me further or cancel the wrong diagnosises altogether, I do not think I am sick in that area at all - there a no psychiatrist diagnoses the are accepted by me). Till now they call it crazyness, that I calculated that there was withstandal of a ex-military chief (my father .) who resigned before the war against Russia - even the exact year is still in calculation) he was against the other powers (he was not there after the war 1945 ended and many false accusations might have falsely come to his military-account?! No one gave me any insight till now not even answering my asking about that topic). Also the very well hidden high nobility past of my mother . (to think about it) is called crazyness by psychiatrists (the latest governmental information was oral, it was (I think ony recently: it was totally wrong (!)) that my mother . had been in the diplomatic service ot the KAISER and thas nobility-protection was in their services and maybe she was dreaming (made it up as the other mother - both pregnancy sharers (!)? who asked for recognition of princess Johanna of Hesse around 1981/82 and was (now I think falsely (!) REJECTED)) were they dreaming only of being one of “them“ NOBILITY herself?). This “dreaming nobility“ was too weak a ground to build on in 1991/92 for my own diplomatic career as her (their) “successor“ (that conclusion was “founded“ in my memory only “yesterday“, totally forgotten because of the embarrassment (because of that “false“? information in 1991/92?) by “politicians“ and government-employees). Besides I thought back then, that “prince“ would be a title in the diplomatic world (that could be given, I myself had used that abroud, why was no one offended by it?)... but when being informed by government... a “dreamed up“ title “in that way“ that she was in addition called “crazy“ (“crazy diplomats“ they were?), was too embarrassing to build on “back then“ (in addition I felt unwanted as today?); was the truth hidden from me? (I looked after that “lineage“ and even used diplomatic channels to ask “an approval“ in “diplomatic services“? Therfore I am still unsure “if“ or “if not“ there is REAL nobility? . (N.) 2024-01-05
