Guest
Chris Parnell: I’m here with film star Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman: Hello. Chris Parnell: So Natalie, what is a day in the life of Natalie Portman like? Natalie Portman: Do you really want to know? Chris Parnell: Please, tell us. [Cut to black and white scene, Natalie rapping] Natalie Portman: I don’t sleep mother fucker; off that ‘Gnac and that Bourbon Doin’ 120, gettin’ head while I’m swervin’ [Cut to Seth Myers talking to Natalie] Seth Meyers: Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick [Switch back to Natalie rapping] Natalie Portman: Yo. Shut the fuck up and suck my dick I’m bustin’ dudes mouths like gushers mother fucker Roll up on NBC and smack the shit out Jeff Zucker What you want Natalie? To drink and fight What you need Natalie? To fuck all night Don’t test when I’m crazy off that airplane glue Put my foot down your throat till your shittin’ my shoe Leave you screamin’, pay for my dry cleanin’ Fuck her man it’s my name that he’s screamin’ [Cut to Seth getting slapped in the face by Natalie, scene switches back to Chris interviewing Natalie] Chris Parnell: I’m sorry Natalie, are we supposed to believe you condone driving while intoxicated? Natalie Portman: I never said I was a role model. Chris Parnell: But what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them? [Cut to a little girl dressed as Queen Amidala asking for an autograph, Natalie grabs girls notebook and throws it away] Natalie Portman: All that kids lookin’ up to me can suck my dick It’s Portman mother fucker, I drink till I’m sick [Natalie breaks bottle on her own head] Slit your throat, and pump nitrous down the hole Watch you laugh and cry, while I laugh you die And all the dudes, you know I’m talkin’ to you [Scene cuts to a group of guys] Guys: WE LOVE YOU NATALIE! Natalie Portman: I wanna’ fuck you too
