If I Were a Rich Man (Donald Trump / Fiddler on the Roof song parody)

Donald Trump seemed to have a lot of trouble coming up with the bonds required to appeal his civil trials. What kind of things would he wish for if he was actually a rich man? See the entire Fiddler on the Roof / Donald Trump playlist: === Lyrics === Oh, dear Lord, you made many, many stupid people I realize, of course, it's no shame to be stupid And you know I love the poorly educated So, what would be so terrible if I took all their money? If I were a rich man MAGA daga diga duga diga daga diga dum All night long I’d set my mind adrift If I were a wealthy man I wouldn’t have to work hard MAGA daga diga duga diga daga diga dum If I sent an itty bitty grift Begging to my ultra-MAGA fans I’d build a big, tall tower with a giant penthouse At least 30,000 square feet And dress it up just like it was a French chateaux Then I would contact Forbes and tell them what I