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Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

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J: Good evening, Achmed. A: Good evening, infidel. J: So, you’re a terrorist. A: Yes, I am a terrorist. J: What kind of terrorist? A: A terrifying… terrorist… Are you scared? J: Not really, no. A: Arghhh, and now? J: Not really, no. A: Aaaargh, how about now? J: No. A: God damn it… Oh.. oh.. I meant a Allah damn it. … Silence, I kill you! J: So, Akhmed. A: No no, it’s Achmed. J: That’s what I said. A: No, you said Akhmed, it’s Achmed, chchchchch. Silence, I kill you! J: How do you spell it? A: What!? J: How do you spell your name? A: Oh, let’s see, A-C-FLEMCH… Silence, I kill you! J: So, Achmed if you’re a terrorist I would supposed you have some sorts of specialty. A: Yes, I am a suicide bomber. J: So you finished… A: What? J: You’ve done your job. A: No, I haven’t. J: But you’re dead. A: No, I’m not. I feel fine. J: But.. You’re All Bone. A: It’s a flesh wound. Silence, I kill you! … What the hell happened to my feet? … Son of the bitch… what the hell… wait a minute… what re you doing……. Stop touching meeeee! I kill you! J: All right just hold on, we’ll fix this. A: Okay, wait, what are you doing? Holy crap I’m in the air … I need some ligaments. J: Just seat still. A: Okay, I will not move my ass. W: You idiot, you don’t have an ass. A: Is that Walter? J: Yes. A: He scares the crap out of me. Please do not put me back in the same suitcase! J: Why? A: He has gas, Saddam’s mustard gas is nothing compared to Walter fart. W: Hahahahaha. A: It’s not funny… he will kill us. J: All right, listen Achmed, I have something to tell you. A: What? J: You really are dead. A: Are you sure? J: Yes. A: But, I just got my flu shot! J: You really are dead. A: Wait, if I’m dead, that means I get my 72 virgins! Are you my virgins? I hope not! J: Why? A: There’s a bunch of ugly ass guys out here. If this is paradise I’ve been

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