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Video presentation to the 8th International Conference on Mental Health and Psychiatry, Frankfurt, August 16-17, 2023 1. The codependent controls from the bottom. She uses her neediness and clinginess to rule and to extort her intimate partner. The Borderline surrenders to her intimate partner: he is tasked by her with stabilizing her moods and regulating her emotions. 2. Abuse is the glue that holds dysfunctional relationships together: it is proof of love and identified with it. Healthy people walk away when they are victimized - the mentally ill bond and get attached. 3. The mentally ill prefer objects to people and attempt to objectify others. Objects are more predictable and controllable. 4. Approach avoidance repetition compulsion should not be confused or conflated with intermittent reinforcement. The first is a reactive pattern to the twin anxieties: abandonment vs. engulfment. The second is the coercive control technique that results in trauma bonding. Borderlines o
