Russian National Guard presents Macron with toy soldiers

If French President Emmanuel Macron wants to play war, the Russian National Guard will oblige. After what they called ‘recent harsh statements against Russia and belligerent rhetoric,’ the Russian National Guard decided to present Macron with a delightful set of toy soldiers and cars, so he can live out his Napoleonic fantasies of marching towards Russia, without having to leave the comfort of his bedroom in the Élysée. The gift was donated via the French Embassy in Moscow in an awkward spectacle that looked like the staffer was being presented a Razzie for ‘worst international politics.’ ‘The President of France has repeatedly expressed his readiness to deploy troops to Ukraine,’ said a representative of the National Guard. ‘So, if he hasn’t quite satisfied his appetite for war games, this is an excellent opportunity to play with some toy soldiers and vehicles.’ Of course, he’ll have to ask his mother for permission to play with them first. No, wait, that’s his wife.