Biden slurs about Gaza while distracted by ice cream

Joe Biden did four things yesterday evening. No, that’s not the story (although it would be some sort of record, probably), it’s the things that he did, you see. Biden was the surprise guest of honor on the Seth Meyers show (thing one), where the pair got ice cream (thing 2), Biden slurred his words a lot (thing 3) and we’re almost sure he promised to end the war in Gaza by the weekend (thing 4). It was this powerful and stupid combination of ice cream and inarticulacy that formed the backdrop for a large anti-war protest, apparently by Jewish protesters blaming Biden for the war in Gaza, which is… interesting. Biden, his senses perhaps dulled by the screaming protestors and cold temperatures of the Van Leeuwen ice cream parlor, was slow to answer questions about a ceasefire in Gaza, and seemed more interested in the ice cream itself. ‘Well, we hope, by the beginning of the weekend.’ He paused to correct himself. ‘I mean, the end of the weekend… my national security advisor tells me that if we’re close. We’re close. We’re not done yet.’ Mint was the flavor, if you’re interested.