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When Stan reveals that he thinks the election is stupid, Diddy shows up and threatens that if he doesn't vote, he's gonna die. “Douche and Turd“ S08 Subscribe to South Park: Watch more South Park: About South Park: South Park is the Emmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time. Watch full episodes of South Park: Shop official South Park merch: Follow South Park: Instagram: Twitter: Facebook: #SouthPark #SouthParkS08 INT. STAN'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT Stan's family is peacefully sitting down to dinner. Mom is standing, just setting a casserole down on the table. STAN'S MOTHER (with a little laugh) How was school today, Stanley? STAN It was ridiculous. We have to have a new school mascot and we're supposed to vote between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Stan's parents look at each other. STAN'S MOTHER What did you say?! STAN'S FATHER Did you just say that VOTING is ridiculous?! STAN No, I think voting is great. But if I have to choose between a douche and a turd, I just don't see the point. STAN'S FATHER You don't see the point. Oh you young people just make me sick! STAN'S MOTHER Stanley, do you know how many people DIED so you could have the right to vote?! STAN I'm just saying that to me a douche is just as bad as a turd, so I don't care. STAN'S FATHER YOU DON'T CARE?! You really want a TURD SANDWICH as your SCHOOL mascot! On your FOOTBALL HELMETS?! A TURD?! STAN'S MOTHER Well, hold on, Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a LITTLE better than them having a giant douche on their uniforms! STAN'S FATHER You're crazy! A douche is at least CLEAN. STAN'S MOTHER It's sexist is what it is! STAN'S FATHER YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ISSUES, SHARON!!! STAN'S MOTHER ARE YOU CALLING ME IGNORANT?! STAN'S FATHER IF YOU THINK THE SCHOOL MASCOT SHOULD BE A TURD SANDWICH YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY EINSTEIN!!! STAN'S MOTHER I AM SICK OF YOU BELITTLING MY OPINION YOU SON OF A BITCH! Stan's mom picks up a vase and launches it across the room at Stan's dad who just manages to duck out of the way. SHELLEY I HATE THIS FAMILY!! I HATE IT!!!! Shelley runs out of the dining room. Stan just sits there at the table alone with Grandpa who is quietly eating. The doorbell rings. Stan walks over to the door. When he opens it, he sees Puff Daddy standing with his bodyguards. STAN Puff daddy? PUFFY Your friend Kyle told me you don't understand the importance of voting. STAN I... PUFFY Apparently you haven't heard of my 'VOTE OR DIE' campaign. STAN Vote or die... What the hell does that mean? Puffy pulls out a gun and cocks it. PUFFY What you think it means BITCH? STAN AAAGHGHH!!!! Stan runs away. EXT. STAN'S HOUSE - DAY Stan runs down the street as puffy and his bodyguards, all holding guns, chase him down and sing. PUFFY AND BACKUPS VOTE OR DIE MOTHER FUCKER MOTHER FUCKER VOTE OR DIE! INT. CONVERTIBLE Puffy is in the passenger seat PUFFY Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye. EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET Stan is running toward camera as Puffy's convertible chases him down. PUFFY AND BACKUPS Democracy is founded on one simple rule: INT. CONVERTIBLE Puffy's in the passenger seat PUFFY Get out there and vote or I will mother fucking kill you INT. POLLING AREA - DAY Puffy is standing in a voting center, with some tables and polling booths with a line of adults waiting to vote. He has his hands all over a slutty black chick who is trying to write stuff down on paper. PUFFY YEAH, I LIKE IT WHEN YOU VOTE BITCH INT. RED WHITE AND BLUE SET Puffy is letting another girl grind up against him. PUFFY SHAKE THEM TITTIES WHEN YOU VOTE, BITCH INT. WHITE SET Puffy has his head between the shaking asses of two chicks. PUFFY I'll slam my jimmy through your mouth roof. INT. POLLING AREA - DAY Another shot where Puffy slaps the ass of another slutty woman as she heads inside the polling booth. PUFFY Now get your big ass in the pollin' boof. Just a music video shot of puffy with an all white background. PUFFY (CONT'D) I said VOTE, BITCH, or I'll fucking kill you.
