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Before Miley Cyrus blew the crack wide open, twerking used to be the rippling, kinetic, booty slapping exercise you kept pent up at the dinner table then let loose on the dance floor till your G-string got caught on some ho’s belt buckle. Now thanks to Little Miss Disney-Hams bizarre pinkeye-bear butt bounce party on MTV, now every square with a TV knows that the New Orleans gluteus-greeting is a thing they should talk about with their kids. The horrors of watching your mother deploy the Macarena to impre
