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A New Jersey elementary school briefly had a new student over the Thanksgiving holidays when a deer broke into the school. Whether it was there in search of knowledge or just lost is currently unclear, but without hall monitors, the situation was on the verge of turning dire. The break-in was reported by a man walking his dog on the evening of November 25, and police responded by sending two heavily armed cops to shoot it 17 times in the back, as per protocol. The buck was not shot (and that’s a terrible pun, because it looks like a doe – a deer, a female deer), but instead mildly chased around a classroom where it registered its disgust with the curriculum by jumping up on the counter and knocking a few things off (or maybe it was just scared). Eventually it was shooed off the school grounds entirely, while police boarded up the broken window to prevent any more unauthorized learning by creatures of the forest. Tom’s River Police released the video, edited over a version of ‘Run Run Rudolph.’ Which is strange, because this was not a reindeer. And anyway, reindeer don’t go to school, they’re elf taught.
