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Available on Spotify: And Limited Edition 12-Inch Vinyl: Tracks/Lyrics: 1. HUGE TOOLS (EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED) “Liquid Death” doesn’t exactly portray Thirst quenching mountain spring water Take my advice and call it quits now Before you keep losing more money! Not sure if I’d want to drink that. Doesn’t really say “safe” or “healthy” to me. Every single person involved in this brand Has to be a huge tool. 2. RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES One of the dumbest things I’ve ever fucking seen. Your company is one and done. You should seriously reconsider your life choices If you actually buy this crap Please go out of business quickly. 3. FIRE YOUR MARKETING GUY Quality woman repellent. Bankrupt in no time. Fire the guy who came up with this pitch, And everyone who signed off on it. That name makes me not wanna drink your water. Uh, fire your marketing guy. 4. DUMBEST NAME EVER FOR WATER I dunno. I’m a person on the internet And I thought your ad campaign fucking sucked. Not impressed. And you sell water. Water. Dumbest name ever for water. 5. GET SLAUGHTERED ON SHARK TANK So you were expecting us to ingest Something that’s labeled “Liquid Death” LOL pass I wish these owners would go on Shark Tank Just so I can see them get slaughtered For naming their water “Liquid Death” 6. THIS WATER COULDN'T BE LESS APPEALING I’m not sure there’s any way possible To make water seem less appealing Disgusting name Decomposing head on can Water is not actually visible. In public or at work??? Looks like you’re drinking Corner-store malt liquor. 7. SELLING YOUR SOUL IS DEPLORABLE A bit over the top The fact that you have an option To “sell your soul” is deplorable Try a new sales pitch That isn’t for satan worshippers 8. GO OUT OF BUSINESS It will be exciting To hear how quickly This asinine company Goes out of business Cannot wait for you To go out of business 9. THIS CRAP IS PURE EVIL This is a disgrace Your soul is worth a whole lot more Than a case of water My soul belongs to my heavenly father Who gave it to me to use Until he needs it back with him again This crap is pure evil in the works 10. BAD MARKETING Why would I buy something That leads me to believe I am going to die from drinking it? This probably the dumbest product I have ever seen. Bad marketing. Credits: Executive Producer: Blasko Produced and Recorded by Gus Rios Cover art by SoloMacello Drums by Gus Rios Guitars and Bass by Gus Rios and Seth Ringler All music by Gus Rios and Seth Ringler Lyrics by real internet haters Arranged by Gus Rios Lead vocals by Torin Ridgeway Backing vocals by Jim Malone Mixed and Mastered by Matt Laplant
