Guest
In cold open, President Reagan ignores Dr. Federico’s appeal to use nukes against an incoming killer comet. In his monologue, jet-lagged John Lithgow mistakes the live show for a pre-show dress rehearsal. Hell beer ad has a warning for your soul. Uptight family man Bob Danielson has something up his behind. Master thespian Jonathan Yankolovichy and his mentor Baudelaire have a deadly acting duel. Texan car salesmen Rudy Randolph wants to sell you a Rolls-Royce. A time-wasting ad successfully wastes your time. John is a caring father who only talks in clicheed metaphors, phrases and expressions, which aggravates his heartbroken daughter Joan to no end. Pop rock band Mr. Mister perform their hit song Broken Wings. On Weekend Update, Dennis discusses Reagan’s claim that an alien threat could unite the planet and end the Cold War, Reagan’s Star Wars weapons program, US gymnast and 1984 Olympic gold medalist Mary Lou Retton’s selling out to ad companies, the gruesome results of the “Search for Captain Crunch“ competition, the acquittal of the death squad responsible for the murder of Filipino opposition leader Benigno Aquino Jr., Reagan’s stuffing of a turkey, former hippie Wally Paxton who claims to be the inventor of Granola and is disillusioned by its commercialization, the resignation of Reagan’s national security adviser Robert McFarlane over his rivalry with the White House Chief of Staff Donald Regan, Exxon’s plans for the year, the White House’s plan to hire Brooke Shields as a spokesperson against selling US secrets to foreign countries, the subscription to Omni magazine, the 40th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the 920th anniversary of the Battle of Hastings and anchor Phyllis George’s attack on CBS’s executives. The segment wraps up with Damon as a political commentator from the hood who comments on the US - USSR negotiations, the Star Wars initiative and the threat of nuclear war. Next, Nancy Reagan dreams about being a femme fatal cabaret singer. Popular stand up comedian Sam Kinison does his stand up bit about Jesus. In the 19th century, mutiny on the Cameron fails due to a lack of demands. Trojan ad turns to patriotic Americans. Mr. Mister performs their song Kyrie. On the Twilight Zone-sque The Limits of Imagination episode, a couple goes to an “all you can eat“ restaurant not realizing that this place takes that slogan literally.
