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Corey Harris was due in court charged with driving while having his license suspended. The plan was perfect: get his attorney to request a four-week adjournment while he pretended to have a very important appointment at his doctor’s office. He would attend the hearing via Zoom. One slight issue: Harris decided to start the Zoom call while driving. Neither he nor his attorney seemed to think this was a particularly big issue. However, the judge pointed out to his attorney that her client was literally committing the crime he was accused of. ‘He doesn’t have a license. He’s suspended and he’s just driving.’ ‘That is correct, your honor.’ Harris’s face slowly changed from chipper determination to petrified stupefaction. Cue the longest ‘oh snap’ silence in recorded legal history. After a very prolonged period of contemplation, the Honorable J. Cedric Simpson decided that Harris would have his bond revoked and should turn himself into the nearest police station. Although he should get someone else to do the driving.
