This video contains free use, archival footage edited together By Alex Leigh Cutler Was I not taught restraint But what has it taught me If another could find passage In these darkened seas White Knuckles On a crimson wheel Wind whipping at your back It's in the past It's in the past The obsidian maw of time Memories prolapse Words float face down on the waves And There a part of me remains Lost to this day Was I not taught better Unsheathe My thoughts To the fractured onslaught Disappearing Into the void Of who I was Let everything Crash down upon me The joy that there once was That I can never be I laid it all bare Cast beneath your feet You shut me down I tried to shut it out Untouched The forbidden urge Dry hands Resting in your lap Stillness to a quiver But denial still provokes Sensations Not of you For such fickle whims Do not a man make The night taunts A return to formlessness What chemicals light the brain A healthy fear of death With my gaze transfixed To silhouetted mountain peaks Coughing back The tide that drowns my scream The familiar black That drags me underneath Feet still flailing in the deep Clawed hands paw For what I will never reach The duality of truth and fear Their germinating breeze Sharp sands lift me to my knees Waiting at the shore There's no air left to breathe My flesh Rubbed raw Smooth and pink Rubbed raw Each granule invades my lungs I can still taste the shadows Each granule invades my lungs I can still taste the shadows Seduced by thoughts of exploring this pain Hiding in the light glares the sanguine summit Waiting in the dark a prophetic release The nascent moon digs through every fissure I slam into boulders to cut my teeth When will the shame break through my skull How far up will I h ave to fall When we first broke the surface And all I could do was cry My tethers snapped from the ground And all I could do was cry The sky tried to contain me But I was already too high That is why That is why Fleshless atmosphere A motion in the mind The notion it lies That is why That is why As I brush past stars Watch galaxies collide My eyes ignore all Searching for what I dare not find But I was too high That is why I've never forgotten that night
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