The Professor's Song Tom Lehrer

Strange Is the change They are trying to arrange Today in Sociology. Fanatics In their attics Are learning mathematics Just for Sociology. Persuasion By equation They all feel is much more satisfactory. In an ivory steeple, Far away from all people, They do research in Sociology. 2. Guys Who wrote lies Now present them in disguise (A cinch in Sociology). A tract Quite abstract Without one single fact Is splendid Sociology. Birds Who used words Now all talk in terms of x and y and z. They can take one small matrix And really do great tricks All in the name of Sociology. 3. Joes Who wrote pros Now write algebra. Who knows? It may be Sociology. They're Everywhere Full of sigma and chi-square And full of —- Sociology. They consult Sounding occult Talking like a mathematics Ph. D. They can snow all their clients By calling it “science“ Although it's only Sociology. 4. (extra verse) Kind souls Who took polls Now pursue much higher goals Today in Sociology Don't condemn Any of them Hand in hand with IBM They're doing Sociology. Graphs Once got laughs But now calculus you'll find is SOP. Folks who once were empirical Now all get lyrical Over the change in Sociology.